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Post number: 480

Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.

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Patient: Oh Doctor, I’m starting to forget things. - Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? - Patient: What condition?

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If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

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Post number: 205
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I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke – but you didnt like it.

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Post number: 449

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

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“My wife suffers from a drinking problem.” - “Oh is she an alcoholic?” - “No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”

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Post number: 515
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Post number: 783
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Post number: 329

The inventor of AutoCorrect is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.

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Post number: 523
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Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.

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Post number: 690
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So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!

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Post number: 580
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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

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Post number: 733
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Post number: 838
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Father looks hard at a teenage son, “James, you’ve been adopted.” James jumps up, “Adopted! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!” Father laughs, “No no, James, we are your biological parents. But you need to get packing, your adoptive ones will be here in an hour.”

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